amber miller and her website - so ive been feeling under the weather for like 4 o...

as heard on today's show - fueled by preppermint radio prep

so ive been feeling under the weather for like 4 o...

Saturday, 17 December 2005

so ive been feeling under the weather for like 4 or 5 days. and conveniently today during a live brodacast i almost completely lose my voice. so clearly the situation was getting worse rather than better. and i dont want to be sick when i get on a plane on thursday or during my limited time at home, so i decide a trip to a local 'urgent care' facility is in order to nip this thing in the bud (i dont have a real regular doctor, unless you count like the dermatologist, so whenever we get sick we just hit up one of those places). the place i planned on going to ended up being closed today despite their telephone message saying they were open on saturdays. assholes. so i call chris, have him look up a list of local providers for me...and i decide on the one closest to where im at instead of driving to the other side of town and that turns out to be a bad bad idea. its the 'express care' clinic at 1 of the 2 local hospitals. of course its the shitty hospital of the 2. i felt like i was at a some sort of really shady free clinic. except for the whole having to pay for it thing. i think the 2 other people in line in front of me had 'i havent showered in a week and a half induced sars' and 'toothless obesity induced monkeypox', respectively.

the whole time i was sitting there waiting to be called back(which was WAY too long for their only being 2 people in front of me) i kept thinking that id made the worst decision of my life. that i was more likely to catch something by my being there than to actually be cured of whatever illness i actually had. that i was more likely to be the victim of a purse snatching, mugging, stabbing, or shooting than to be cured of whatever illness i actually had.

while im waiting, a group of ladies come in with a box of printed 'missing' signs. a kid had gone missing. but it wasn't like, holy crap sound the amber alert missing, it was, well, shes run away 12 times before, but never for more than 24 hours. and it was hour 29. so something terrible must have happened. and the police aren't willing to help. cant imagine why. and then the group of ladies start comparing kid running away stories. the way we might compare drunk escapades storie. 'yeah, well my niece ran away when she was 9. and then again at 12. and this one time she shacked up with a solider for like 11 days. and then she got pregnant at 14. now she's 17 and has 3 kids. but she's gonna go back to school someday and get her diploma.' 'well my little sister used to run away all the time, and this one time she made it all the way to atlanta with this 39 year old guy who said he wanted to marry her. she was only 16. but he got sick of her always needing money for food and clothes and he abandoned her. so she came home. they always do.'

then they ask the head nurse if they can hang their missing person signs in the waiting room in case the girl comes in for some sort of medical treatment. and the head nurse talks to them for like 15 minutes. instead of, you know, treating me or any of the sick people in the waiting room. the whole thing was so surreal it was at least a little entertaining. better than reading a copy of ebony magazine from august 2002.

as the minutes tick buy, i start thinking about going back to the front desk and asking for my money back. i thought about getting up and leaving and letting them have my money in exchange for me being able to just get the hell out of there unharmed.

i finally get called back, they do the routine take the temp and blood pressure stuff, and then they ask all these weird questions,questions id never been asked at a doctors ever, and then i figure it out... i was the first person they'd seen all day that was able to read. the questions are to figure out whether or not the patients are gonna be able to read the discharge instructions or if someone would have to explain everything to them verbally because they might otherwise try to eat their suppositories, or pour cough syrup in their ears or something. which is sad, but which also goes to illustrate what sort of place i was in.

the doctor comes in and sees me, spends approx 30 seconds examining me, tells me i have a 'common cold' in the most condescending way possible(god forbid people actually seek treatment before they have double pnemounia), writes me a perscription for some kick ass narcotic cough medicine and sends me on my way.

now i knew i wasnt deathly ill or anything, but i felt like crap for almost a week,wasn't getting any better, and had no voice (which, by the way, i kind of need in order to be able to make a living) and the doctor almost laughs me outta the place. not cool.

needless to say, i wont be going back there next time i get sick. never never never ever again.

on the bright side, all i have is a 'common cold' and hopefully will be all better in a couple days.

am

Comments

Add New